Depression is so much more than sadness. Awareness about depression is so important as many people still don’t understand what the condition is and how it can manifest in different ways. Recovery is possible and here’s Yasha Baid sharing her journey with depression with us to break the stigma around Depression.
A little about you
My name is Yasha Baid, I’m 20 and from surat, India and from surat, India.
Experience with Depression
I happened to realise that I was drowning in depression when I was 16, it was the time when I attempted suicide and failed. Those days it was like a battle to inhale everytime, I slept with the disappointment that I’m still alive and woke up with the thought that how am I gonna die.
I rarely slept for an hour or two those days. At times I diagnosed sleep paralysis too. Along with this I was also diagnosed with borderline dengue and also had fever every month, severe pain in my left brain and also diagnosed migraine.
I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt because of the devastating fact that in this society people scoff others who suffer from mental illness. This got worst when I started hallucinating things around, I used to fear living during the day and also was afraid of the dark nights, the pain got doubled everytime I had to step out and try to smile around people just to conceal everything within. I used to get many panic attacks and eventually seeing too many people around used to scare my soul more and more. I started hurting myself more often, I took all my frustration and irritation out by torturing myself. The physical pain was bearable than the mental pain.
Somehow, I managed to see a doctor who made sure I got enough sleep. I started meditating and listening to motivational speeches, also I started writing and created ‘createwhatyouthink’ and that was like a therapy to my soul, slowly and gradually after 3 years of depression and hallucination I stand strong and positive enough, taking my mental health as my priority and responsibility.
A message to others
To everyone out there reading this I just want to say that ‘You are the moon, keep conquering your darkness’, life is within you, give yourself time and space, every fear and trauma is okay, you’ll find your way to peace and strength.