A little about Me
Hi! I am Mamatha, currently preparing for my MPhil in clinical psychology in India. I am passionate about creating awareness on mental health, since knowing first-hand the need for it, I talk about it on my Instagram page- @colours_heal and also on @psychiart_hub, along with a few of my peers.
Journey With Depression
Around 7 years ago when I was a teenager from the age of 15 to 17 years, I was in a state of depression where I felt suicidal, helpless, powerless because of various relationship issues I was facing, and was always anxious about not being good enough. Nobody understood what I was going through and they felt I am making excuses for not doing the things I was supposed to. I was not formally diagnosed with depression because I didn’t approach any psychologist at the time but I knew that I was stuck in this cage of helplessness and it was the worst period of my life.
Every time I tried attempting suicide, something stopped me always, I realized there was some ray of hope left in me. I started looking for things that could keep the flame of hope burning within me. Someone then gifted a copy of Monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma and it uplifted my spirit.
I was into Buddhist practice and was a member of SGI, so the books written by the president of SGI and our mentor Daisaku Ikeda gave me a lot of hope and I felt deeply connected to him and felt understood by him. Slowly I was able to change myself from being a shy, under confident, and unhappy person to someone confident and cheerful.
It takes time to overcome and change our patterns but these are few things that helped me:
- Find at least one person whom you can talk to and who will not judge you.
- If you aren’t able to connect with some friends, find a mentor/guide, whose books you can read and help you feel connected and understood.
- Don’t suffer for too long in isolation thinking about the stigma or what will others say (don’t be scared of judgment).
- Find some form of meditation you can practice, it can be chanting or deep breathing techniques, using music or a certain frequency, etc. for meditation, find the medium that works for you and stick to it. Make it a part of your routine and spare at least 20-40 mins for it.
- Even if you can’t meditate well, it’s still okay. That time spent in calmness will serve you in some way.
- Walk or exercise, if you don’t feel like doing it for too long, you can break it into 10 -15 mins each and do this twice or thrice a day.
- Moving your body is such an important thing when we are feeling too tired or feeling defeated, that’s exactly when we need to tell ourselves to move. Many kinds of research have shown a positive correlation between walking and reduced anxiety, high self -esteem & reduced negative mood.
- Add at least one activity into your schedule which is not goal-oriented and is done for its own sake, it could be drawing, writing, singing, dancing, cooking, etc., doesn’t matter if you’re bad at it, the important thing is to be engaged in it.
- Seek help, it is the most important step, I know it can feel like nobody will understand and it might be that even your close ones don’t understand but believe and know that there are counsellors, psychologists, and other mental health professionals who will show empathy and zero judgment and help you on your journey to becoming a person who is more hopeful, confident and cheerful.
“Even in the most painful and challenging circumstances, wherein one loses all freedom, we still have the freedom of choice as to what perspective we take on and in what way we respond to it! Hence one can say there’s hope even in the seemingly impossible circumstances.”~ Victor Frankl
A message to others
Show up for yourself, even if no one believes you, even if no one supports you, keep showing up for yourself again and again. You are the most precious thing in your life and you deserve to become the happiest and strongest version of yourself.